Lazy Mankind
Without fail Sundays feel more like a religious experience at the grocery store – worshipping capitalism.
I woke up at around 11am and really did not feel like going running so I did the next best thing, I thought about some girl I saw yesterday and shook hands with the governor. I tossed and turned after feeling that special warmth that comes after violating one own person but it was not enough to send me back to a cozy sleep. I felt my obsessive compulsive nature kick in and I started putting on my running sneakers.
As I opened my bedroom door to walk down the hallway I could hear hurried steps in front of me. My roommates were leaving to their parents for the day. I always go out the front door of the house to run if no one is home because I feel strange about working out in front of the roommates but I am just weird about such things. I made it across the street when I noticed something peculiar. I recognized the pink silhouette two houses down as ran by and I jogged up to the open front door. It was my co-worker, another bagger lives right next to me and I did not know it for six months! She is mentally handicapped so the conversation was short but still it shows you how shelters our species is from each other. I have no idea who any of the people in my neighborhood are and that is the way things stay.
I finished my short run and started weight training in the garage while I cooked lunch. I did the usual:
Squats
Dead lift
Lunges
Calf raises
I really need to be doing more lower body work but its hard to incorporate to my training schedule that is primary upper body weight lifting. I think I am going to toss squats into my Friday workouts because I cannot be sure if I will have access to the weight room (aka the garage) on the weekends. I still do all of the legs exercises on Thursdays but without any weights. I think girls can get away with doing workouts without weights but if you are trying to build mass it does not work the same. You have to challenge those muscles with hundreds of pounds or that muscle doesn’t grow. I eat more now than I ever have in my entire life but I am still as skinny as a tooth pick. This working in a grocery store is killer on my budget and even worse on calories taken in. One of the baggers told me today that he lost 2 pounds of water weight yesterday just from pushing the carts in this unbearable Arizona humidity. I don’t know how people live in places with ‘real’ humidity in the double digits.
1pm
I had to make a haste escape from the house to get to work on time but I got to work right on time anyway. As I walked through the store I could already tell it was going to be another extremely busy day because the crowds were early. I put on my ‘costume’ and before I had time to take inventory of my surrounding I was in the parking lot shoveling steal carts from outside to inside in the most mechanical way possible. I try not to think about what I am doing and refocus my attentions to other more meaningful topics.
Jane #1 – cashier
Today I was telling her that I don’t like it when the store was like this because I have to bag really fast and I start to sweat with nervousness.
Her comment:
“Whenever you bag for me you hardly seem to be moving at all. It looks like you are trying to bag slow.”
I ask her to be nice to me all the time but she is still mad at me because I am not a good Christian like her.
Jane #2 – cashier
I don’t know how I even tolerate her anymore. She is always mean to me in a very sarcastic manner. At one point she relieved me of my humanity by expressing that my name was better suited to a dog. Then she told me to go lay down after we had a verbal spout about who was better. She seems to have this huge lady boner for me because she knows I am more attractive than she is. I don’t know why girls feel competitive with me on physical beauty but I can sense her envy over my legs.
Outside the store she could not get the lock closed for the propane tanks and when I offered to help her she told me to go away. She just needs to feel like she can do everything without me and my help is welcome in any regard. She calls me mean and rude but all I ever try to do is be what I call nice to her.
My Legs are Still Topic of Conversation:
Despite the months I have worked at the grocery store my legs are still mentioned at least once a day or sometimes it running joke. All the cashiers have expressed some leg jealously and by that I mean the comments keep coming out of the wood work. Yes, I have skinny sculpted legs, and no they are not free. I work harder on my calves than any other muscle. I do calf raises daily and when I can I do them with either the barbell across my shoulders or holding heavy dumbbells. These legs are the product of constant running as well. My legs shine and they are ‘pretty’ but most people would not put in the effort for these results.
As the highlight of my day at the grocery store one of my fellow baggers asked me if I was a doctor. That is the strangest question I have ever gotten at work because how could it make any sense if I was doctor working as minimum wage slave? I do have an era of sophistication about me and I do stand out among my co-workers on a variety of different platforms but a doctor really? Before I left today I asked the genius 16 year old bagger if it was possible to civilize epsilons semi-morons into mindless consumers? “Are you kidding me its already been done by the corporations and the system,” he replied. I guess there really is not much hope for mankind the way things are set up now. People are willing to destroy everything in the world as long as they don’t have to be uncomfortable now because once they realize what they have done to their own bodies and the environment, it will be too late to say “oops”. It makes me sad to see so much waste and even more lethargy in the parking lot.
