It would seem that my workplace is about is unlikable of me as it ever was. Today Jane the cashier and I spent more time talking than usual, much to the dismay of the other cashiers. I have noticed that when it comes to baggers and cashiers everyone has their favorites. Jane and I simple cannot get along or she refused to dislike me. I am very confused by her because she goes out of her way to feel insecure about her body and intelligence. “Do you hate me because I am smarter than you,” I asked her today. She did not like that comment one bit and fired back at me, “so you think are so much smarter than I am. Do you think that because you are way older than me that I cannot be smart like you? Do you think you’re special because you work in grocery store?” She would not stop beating me up and I felt like just pulling down her pants and putting in her butt to get her to be quiet. She has also mentioned that I do nice things for her now because as she put it, “you might be trying to get into my pants.” My response to this – “if only that were the case and I would also like to find signs of life on Mars too.” She tried many times today to make me feel stupid in front of customers and when she went ‘political’ on me, she ended up with pie all over her face. “Sir, did you know that this guy here working as bagger is a republican,” she said. The guy just frowned at her and said “me to”. She does not understand how someone who is as poor as I am cannot be a democrat. Jane is of a simple mind and her thoughts rarely extended beyond ‘trouble-free’ issues but I cannot decided if I like her for her toughness on me or if I hate her for trying to make me feel bad about myself. She has much to dislike me for and equally I have been rather blunt with her. We don’t sugar coat any issues, we are brutally honest with another. Maybe with brutal honesty one can only hope that it carries in a positive way. The teenage genius today told me, “we are not all friends here, we are co-workers and as such we are going to extend ourselves to one another as we like.” Can you believe a 16 year old kid said that, it was one of the most intelligent statements I have heard since I started working at the grocery store.
At around noon I felt like getting out of bed because I was tired of masturbating and going back into naps. I went to bed at around midnight last night or at least that is the last I remember. I had nothing to do today so I was just lying around being lazy and the library was closed. If I could have gone there I would have been up earlier because I would have had some purpose. When I finally did get up it was semi cloudy outside and I did not know if any roommates were home. I asked the stoner roommate last night where his brother was and he told me he thought he was out of town. This morning his car was parked in front of the house. So I was not sure if anyone was home or not and I did not feel comfortable working out in the garage. I did a short leg workout yesterday anyway.
I came back from running my one mile sprint covered in sweat but feeling exceptionally hungry. Last night I cooked my steak when I got home so I would not have to do that today. Well, in the night I ate about half of it so I had to cook more chicken. While I had the meat on the stove I decided to check my cell phone on the off chance the store was calling me on my day off. I really needed some more hours since I got no long shifts this week. All my shifts were four hours long, which I love, but don’t pay the bills. When I checked it there were two messages from one of the rich kid baggers that asked if would come in and work half his shift. I was not looking forward to pushing the carts in the heat but I needed more money for next week. I told him I would be there in an hour.
I arrived at the store fashionably late with a plan. I have learned that I need to hydrate before I start my shifts because the sun takes a lot out of you in the parking lot. I start everyday with a sports drinks which I gulp down as quickly as I can. Then I clock in and have to put on that stupid safety vest. I don’t much care for the costume but people in the parking lot are jerks.
The cart schedule is written in stone and people obey it or they get in trouble. There are exceptions to the rules that conflict with breaks or people being in the ice room but for the most part we go out in 15 minutes shifts. I had my only break of the day and cart herding at the same time. I ran back to the deli bought a bunch of chicken and soda… ate as fast I could but still ended up throwing most of it away. I get so mad when there is not enough time to eat properly but the other baggers get angry when someone is substituted into the schedule. As I was running out of the break room I stopped to get Jane some cookies. She loves candy and I knew that if she had sugar she would be happier cashiering. She caught me loading up the cookies and questioned my intensions for the Oreos. I took them down anyway and put them under her register and then went outside to push the carts.
I spent the second half of the afternoon teaching Jane Spanish but she is a very poor student. I can see the envy and frustration in her eyes when I speak fluently and she cannot quiet understand me. When I answer her questions in French she really gets annoyed with me but sometimes I like poking the fact that I smarter than she is and she knows it. I stayed with her as often as I could at the expense of helping the other cashiers. I asked one of the older cashiers who is my age but looks 50 why the baggers would not help him when he was up there? He felt that frustration of it but he did not have a good response for me. When I asked Jane if I could be dismissed for the day she would not let me leave till the very minute. We had big orders all afternoon because of the university students coming back to school for fall and the baggers were stretched thin across four cashiers. A few minutes prior to this we had a crazy lady yell at the girl in floral and I would have felt bad for her except for she is a total bitch. When that girl is cashiering I stay a mile away from her because she is rude. Eventually the Tempe police showed up and helped that lady out of the store. I think she is homeless and severally mentally ill. Another sign that the mental health system has failed to help the very poor and very insane.
Well, that is my life for today and if you guys have any clues as to why Jane is treating me so badly I would like to hear them. I have worked with her for months and I would say she is about as close of a ‘friend’ as I have had in at least 6 years. We talk nearly every day and most of our conversations are interesting but she has this animosity towards me that I cannot shake. She has also given me her opinion on one matter of grave concern, she knows I am prettier than she is. I don’t know how I feel about that comment she has made several times to me. I am in perfect shape and she really does not like that my legs are faultless compared to hers. She has so many reasons to hate me and I should never be nice to her. i have told her about this blog but no one in my real life gets to see what I write. “If your readers only knew my side of the story, how we get alone in this store, they would be on my side,” she said to me yesterday.