I think my tumblr is about to turn three years old and I am still not certain why I have it. The first days of the site where dedicated to my mindless rambling, similar to a person with syphilis on the brain. That evolved into a depressing chatter of my daily life which since then has become more complicated. I started graduate school in fall and I still worked part time at the grocery store in the most degrading position known to man – bagger. As the spring semester gets ready to kick off in exactly one week from today I don’t know what I will continue to post on this tumblr. I like posting pictures of skinny and fit girls because I think it’s inspirational to show what the human body looks like its peak of perfection. All these girls either through unnatural or natural ways have found a way to reveal a beauty beyond imagination. As for my personal struggles with body image and eating disorders… I am indeed cured. How I did it is just as remarkable. For years I was anorexic and occasionally bulimic and I even kept a stash of laxatives at my desk. Last January I lost my gym membership for the first time since I could remember in my life and I had to learn to run outside. Two times a week after working out in the garage I went running around the neighborhood for exactly 6.5 minutes as fast as I could. The first could of weeks were absolutely brutal and I almost had to stop but I kept pushing myself harder. As the weeks continued I was losing about 2-3 pounds per week. Its been twelve long months now and when people meet me that have not seen me in a long while they say I look completely different! I weigh as of yesterday 144 pounds. That is way down from 210 pounds I was last year and I was not fat then either. I was just overloaded with muscle mass and 20% body fat. As I sit here now my skinny jeans barely stay up and my workout clothes are three sizes too big. My co-workers wonder how I can be so big in the chest and still have such shapely legs. When I tell them what I weigh they just stare at me thinking its not possible. I am so glad that I have been able to reach my goal weight but now I just feel so skinny-big. What that means is I am still built but at the same time I am lean with tiny ankles. My calves have so much definition in them that they are my most defined body part. I have the legs girls dream of having and I am stuck with. As for my education this semester has changed dramatically. I was going to school to become a clinical psychologist when I met bright talented Ph.d history teacher. Each semester I load up 4 psychology classes and a ‘fun’ class, this semester it was history 101. It almost feels like I was discovered there as a very talented student. The professor took a non-history person and molded him into what he needed. A person who could write research papers on a subject he knew little about. I ended the class with one of the best grades and with honors from the college. I lost my dreams of being a therapist this year and in the future I plan on writing research as a historical psychologist which I hear there are not many of us around. There is little connection between these two fields because each requires a true dedication to subject that don’t cross paths unless you can see the stitches. Its New Year’s Eve and I had planned on spending the day with a cashier I have known a long time but she bailed on me a few minutes ago. Instead I will ring in the new year working at the grocery store. They called me to work on my day off because they had plenty of workers who called-out and because I was under this crazy believe that I actually had plans I told the store no. Now I am putting on my uniform and heading towards the store. Life sucks when you are anti-social angry loner.Tumblr (3.0; @steamthings)http://steamthings.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/dc764bc8d77f8202b2b9229c297b81b0/tumblr_mlej3bmKjz1s4bnbto1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51148581073http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51148581073Thu, 23 May 2013 07:18:41 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/01113b876a469bf1c31471ab947be113/tumblr_mkk1kduoMa1rizxhpo1_500.png"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51139765707http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51139765707Thu, 23 May 2013 03:15:18 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/c1c1d18b065767143bc2ba31c5e6c2b7/tumblr_mi4ehsmBI51raxln2o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51138590397http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51138590397Thu, 23 May 2013 02:30:18 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/3d820334383d6eae083abcb67cc298cf/tumblr_mjfaq27HzM1qgkburo2_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51137467333http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51137467333Thu, 23 May 2013 01:45:21 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/c6a04afb0967ea1fd1dc28f4120a629b/tumblr_mjtjr9LfXn1rotquso1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51122508193http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51122508193Wed, 22 May 2013 20:12:03 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/99276d5494cfb4fa04fe83be0398758b/tumblr_mn8e0vqbzQ1qe6u0ao1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>I found this today and I am pretty happy about it!</p>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51122192389http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51122192389Wed, 22 May 2013 20:07:00 -0700mousetech<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/734a065a39bba48f6f424138f94e6d2b/tumblr_mhgq0w48wh1rzhh95o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51119753851http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51119753851Wed, 22 May 2013 19:36:19 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltcgbeQzUA1qe6u0ao1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51117167387http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51117167387Wed, 22 May 2013 19:04:24 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/bf9b428bc2b84d96a093263c4bb1ee7b/tumblr_mmtbn1sYI01qaplwao1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51117126479http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51117126479Wed, 22 May 2013 19:03:54 -0700Mazinger Z<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/165e7801be7863b6fc38f69d6c7a82c7/tumblr_mjrpwj4FNC1rmd2ylo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51061117794http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51061117794Wed, 22 May 2013 03:15:27 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m27io3YzCs1qe3b4vo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sexy-pictures.tumblr.com/post/23004362300/jessa-younker"> </a></p>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51059897444http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51059897444Wed, 22 May 2013 02:30:29 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mejju5Mzsu1qctx33o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51058748516http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51058748516Wed, 22 May 2013 01:45:26 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me5lm3rlcD1r0yglfo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51043297319http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/51043297319Tue, 21 May 2013 20:11:19 -0700<p>My boss says, &#8220;around here we don&#8217;t care about being on time so just show up when you can.&#8221;</p>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50992165246http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50992165246Tue, 21 May 2013 08:10:18 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lptztnnqb51qlg2cko1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991774922http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991774922Tue, 21 May 2013 08:02:07 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/c815c15b57e4ff8cb3fd7b5374cde92d/tumblr_mmpkum6ur21qj2k0eo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991528076http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991528076Tue, 21 May 2013 07:57:03 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvxwhc6SiI1qfmwvyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://beautiful-inmyeyes.tumblr.com/post/50990313952/karlie-kloss" class="tumblr_blog">beautiful-inmyeyes</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Karlie Kloss</p></blockquote>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991351614http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991351614Tue, 21 May 2013 07:53:21 -0700<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/2ee41e881bd4afe6333a92407c88eab6/tumblr_mn5l64xfA71qe6u0ao1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>First day at work and the bathroom looks nice!</p>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991158791http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50991158791Tue, 21 May 2013 07:49:16 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/0dfdc9b20e380451d77f69668177b562/tumblr_mi30my6ebz1s5zs8to1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50980659967http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50980659967Tue, 21 May 2013 03:15:19 -0700<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/14fc85dc9578a778c0ee133916560bc2/tumblr_mjsm7eyJK71rtax1ao1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50979402930http://steamthings.tumblr.com/post/50979402930Tue, 21 May 2013 02:30:19 -0700